Showing posts with label options. Show all posts
Showing posts with label options. Show all posts

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Nobody Can Go Back . . .

My daughter bought me a necklace over the weekend and the card that it was attached to said,

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. This necklace will remind you daily that the best is yet to come. (The necklace has a ribbon with a heart in the round part and the word survivor at the bottom.)


Friday I was able to meet with an oncologist. He pretty much told me that I would not be seeing him because my cancer did not require chemo. He did look over my pathology report and told me that based on the information he had so far, my cancer was only stage 1 and that my tumor was low grade. I questioned him because my surgeon would not comment on this until he checked my lumph nodes. The oncologist said that my surgeon was being cautious but that he would stick his neck out and answer my question. He then said that if he were an insurance agent he would sell me a life insurance policy. He felt I was going to be around for a while. He knew I still had to go in for more surgery which would require my lymph nodes to be checked and he felt that this was probably going to be ok. His recommendation agreed with my surgeon, have a re-section, check the lymph nodes, get clear margins and then go for radiation.

We talked about the possibilities of damage to my lungs from radiation and he explained that the machines they use are very precise. While there is always a risk, happenings like that are unusual these days. He confirmed that if I had radiation on my right breast and the cancer did return, I would not be able to use radiation in this area a second time. He then printed off some information that the doctors use to do research on my type of cancer and gave it to me.

Afterwards, I called my surgeon's office to schedule the re-section. While it's not been confirmed, I might be having surgery this Thursday. I thought I would give myself the opportunity to preserve my breast as long as the pathology comes back with clear margins.

In reading the stories other women have written about having radiation or having the breast removed and reconstruction surgery, none of the options are an easy road. Each choice comes with things that do not sound convienent or easy to deal with at times. It is my prayer that the second surgery will come back with clear margins and that I will not have to return for a third surgery to remove the breast. (But I will do that if that's what it comes too!)

I was blessed this weekend with a visit from my two daughters who live in various areas of Michigan. We spent our time together looking at old photos, watching videos, playing Wii, talked, shopping, playing cards and just spending time together. I was sad when it was time for them to leave. It had been a wonderful weekend. Sure helped to put the last week or so behind me.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

TO have a B(reast) OR NOT TO have a B(reast)? That is the Question.



I received the call I'd been waiting for from my surgeon today. The results were back from my MRI and it was not showing anything further to be concerned about. (The thought that MRIs don't always show everything they need to was running through the back of my mind.)

The next step. . . My doctor spoke about doing the surgery, re-section, where they go back into my breast to remove more tissue with the goal of getting clear margins. He also asked me if I'd given any more thought or research into what I wanted to do next. Here comes the tough part, which direction do I move in?

If you remember from my first post, I've actually been wondering if it would be better to completely remove the breast. I make that statement because these are the thoughts that have been running around in my head. . .

The tumor that was removed was near the nipple which doesn't leave much tissue left to be removed.

What happens if the tumor is bigger than they thought?

What if they can not get six clear margins? They'll be removing the breast anyway. (It's imparitive that I get clear margins.)

If I have to remove the breast anyway, I'll just have delayed the inevitable.

A few more "what if" questions, a few more "if they" questions and etc. etc. etc.

Here's one of the biggest decisions I'll make in my life about my life and I'm not sure I'm qualified to make it. I'm waiting to speak with my husband and bounce all the ideas and options off of him. (Saying them aloud makes everything a little more real to me.) I'm also checking with my coordinating support person (from the doctors office/hospital) to see who my oncologist might be and if they've had any experience with ACC of the breast. Maybe this person can add some insight based on the information we have so far.

Ok, it's time to occupy the mind with some other thoughts and activities. Till next time. . .