TO have a B(reast) OR NOT TO have a B(reast)? That is the Question.

I received the call I'd been waiting for from my surgeon today. The results were back from my MRI and it was not showing anything further to be concerned about. (The thought that MRIs don't always show everything they need to was running through the back of my mind.)

The next step. . . My doctor spoke about doing the surgery, re-section, where they go back into my breast to remove more tissue with the goal of getting clear margins. He also asked me if I'd given any more thought or research into what I wanted to do next. Here comes the tough part, which direction do I move in?

If you remember from my first post, I've actually been wondering if it would be better to completely remove the breast. I make that statement because these are the thoughts that have been running around in my head. . .

The tumor that was removed was near the nipple which doesn't leave much tissue left to be removed.

What happens if the tumor is bigger than they thought?

What if they can not get six clear margins? They'll be removing the breast anyway. (It's imparitive that I get clear margins.)

If I have to remove the breast anyway, I'll just have delayed the inevitable.

A few more "what if" questions, a few more "if they" questions and etc. etc. etc.

Here's one of the biggest decisions I'll make in my life about my life and I'm not sure I'm qualified to make it. I'm waiting to speak with my husband and bounce all the ideas and options off of him. (Saying them aloud makes everything a little more real to me.) I'm also checking with my coordinating support person (from the doctors office/hospital) to see who my oncologist might be and if they've had any experience with ACC of the breast. Maybe this person can add some insight based on the information we have so far.

Ok, it's time to occupy the mind with some other thoughts and activities. Till next time. . .

The First Post - Dealing With The Word "Cancer."

Yesterday morning, I received the news that I have Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma of the breast - CANCER. And hearing the "C" word was like getting hit in the stomach and having all the wind knocked out of me. I was thrown off guard and run over with emotion and thought!

Meeting with my surgeon to go over the diagnosis, next steps and treatment options helped me to digest the news more, but when I got home and ran searches on the Internet, every website that came up seemed to have the same information on this cancer as the next one. It appears to be a "rare" cancer that is usually slow growing. The other item I picked up on is that it doesn't seem to respond to chemo.

While at the meeting, I was given a prepared binder with my lab report and information regarding breast cancer. I also met a woman that will be my contact person/coordinating person with each doctor and I can reach whenever I have questions or just need to talk with someone. She seemed very nice and supportive and I have a feeling I will be contacting her as my questions arise or the panic takes over.

My next step is 12/31/08 at 10:00a.m. I will be going in for a MRI to see if the test will show any areas further out from where the tumor was found and removed. After that, more waiting for results and then more surgery.

Yesterday my thoughts were to just remove the breast, get it off me and get the cancer out of me. My surgeon and support coordinating person said that my thoughts and feeling were normal and that I might possibly feel different in a week or two. At this point, my surgeon wants to see what the MRI finds and then believes he will probably be going back into the breast to remove more tissue for biopsy and hopefully come back with clear margins. That is unless the MRI shows suspicious areas and then we will probably be talking mastectomy.

What I'm finding hard to deal with at this moment are all the thoughts and questions that pop-up. I try to write them down as they come or pray for God to help me with the panic I feel for the moment. One thing that I found helpful on the Internet was Molly's Blog http://mebrawley.blogspot.com/. She has been dealing with this same cancer and has shared her experience. Thank you Molly! I'm glad to hear that you are doing well at this point.

Ok, that's where I am this morning. Time to try and get some work done and deal with life beyond the cancer part. I hope to share later.