Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The First Post - Dealing With The Word "Cancer."

Yesterday morning, I received the news that I have Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma of the breast - CANCER. And hearing the "C" word was like getting hit in the stomach and having all the wind knocked out of me. I was thrown off guard and run over with emotion and thought!

Meeting with my surgeon to go over the diagnosis, next steps and treatment options helped me to digest the news more, but when I got home and ran searches on the Internet, every website that came up seemed to have the same information on this cancer as the next one. It appears to be a "rare" cancer that is usually slow growing. The other item I picked up on is that it doesn't seem to respond to chemo.

While at the meeting, I was given a prepared binder with my lab report and information regarding breast cancer. I also met a woman that will be my contact person/coordinating person with each doctor and I can reach whenever I have questions or just need to talk with someone. She seemed very nice and supportive and I have a feeling I will be contacting her as my questions arise or the panic takes over.

My next step is 12/31/08 at 10:00a.m. I will be going in for a MRI to see if the test will show any areas further out from where the tumor was found and removed. After that, more waiting for results and then more surgery.

Yesterday my thoughts were to just remove the breast, get it off me and get the cancer out of me. My surgeon and support coordinating person said that my thoughts and feeling were normal and that I might possibly feel different in a week or two. At this point, my surgeon wants to see what the MRI finds and then believes he will probably be going back into the breast to remove more tissue for biopsy and hopefully come back with clear margins. That is unless the MRI shows suspicious areas and then we will probably be talking mastectomy.

What I'm finding hard to deal with at this moment are all the thoughts and questions that pop-up. I try to write them down as they come or pray for God to help me with the panic I feel for the moment. One thing that I found helpful on the Internet was Molly's Blog http://mebrawley.blogspot.com/. She has been dealing with this same cancer and has shared her experience. Thank you Molly! I'm glad to hear that you are doing well at this point.

Ok, that's where I am this morning. Time to try and get some work done and deal with life beyond the cancer part. I hope to share later.


  1. Oh my gosh Cyndi! I just found you after you posted on my blog. WOW. I am soooo sorry to hear you have to go through this crap too but am here to tell you that I am here for you and will answer any questions you want. I wish could tell you that this is an easy journey--physically, it isn't bad at all, but that ever constant fear is what I still struggle with. But, then I have really sound moments of clarity and peace. And to think you have already overcome brain cancer! WOW--talk about an inspiration. I think with your brain cancer and my body's weird ability to make tumors we are the unlucky ones in the gene department!

    I have not read your entire post yet, nor perused your profile, but just wanted to touch base. I started my blog to help ME, (as a former English teacher, I love to write) and to help anyone else who gets their rare diagnosis.

    Please keep posting! I will read faithfully and feel free to contact me anytime.


  2. Ok, it's me again. I just want to tell you that the MRI I had done after my biopsy showed no cancer at all--nor did my PET/CT scan. But there was still some in there so do not totally trust that MRI. My tumor ended up being 6.1 cm and NEVER showed on any imaging even after we all felt it. I do not tell you that to scare you, but I would definitely make sure you get clean margins with a lumpectomy, and then discuss radiation. (that was my original plan until we learned the tumor was stupid BIG!. Then I had the mastectomy)


  3. Wow--tell me to shut up anytime! I just read you did NOT have brain cancer, but still a tumor. Lordy girl, we sure have a lot in common. Ok, I will try to quit hogging all your posts! : )